goal-setting – Page 4 – theCauseCoach

What is The Cause?

February 9, 2018February 16, 2018thecausecoach

We often talk about the connection between mind and body – visualizing positive outcomes, training our minds, the importance of building “mental fortitude” – during our physical training. While it’s important to consider the connection between mind and body (being as well as doing) as we look to achieve our goals, another important consideration is the soul (or feeling).

And that’s where the “cause” comes in. A cause by definition is something that gives rise to action. A cause can be positive, negative, personal or philanthropic, but it’s ultimately what motivates us. Read more →

What’s your vision for 2018?

January 4, 2018January 10, 2021thecausecoach

The second half of 2012 marked a comeback for me after herniated disks sidelined me for close to a year. Months of physical therapy gave way to a very patient approach to running again. I gradually increased mileage until I felt comfortable entering a 5k and over the course of the next six months made my way back up to a 10-mile race in early December. All the while I visualized myself as a strong, capable runner, accomplishing each milestone. Read more →

Showing up…because I can

April 25, 2017June 22, 2019thecausecoach

Woody Allen said, “Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” For me that couldn’t have been more true than this past weekend. On my training schedule for Saturday was a 5k race. The River Edge Run. I had run the race 10 times in the past. Its a course on which I have two of my five fastest 5k times. Saturday? Not so much. One of my slowest. But in the Female 50-54 age group, my time was good enough for third place! On Sunday, I had six miles on the schedule; my last long run before next week’s New Jersey Half Marathon – my goal race of the spring season. Since I had to do six miles anyway, I figured why not donate to a local cause, have support on the course, and get a tee shirt! I signed up on race morning for the Thunderbird Run 10k. And, you guessed it, won 3rd place in my age group – again! And actually went home with the 2nd place medal since the fastest in my age group was fast enough for 3rd overall.

I have to confess that I was three out of three on Sunday. Only three woman between the ages of 50 and 54 got out of bed and participated in the 10k. Technically, you could say I finished last! My time was far from my best and far from my 10k times from just a year or two ago. I don’t feel totally deserving of a medal for that. But I showed up! I got out of bed before 6 a.m. on a cold Sunday morning and put shorts on. And I ran…for six miles! And I feel damn good about that! So yeah, I took the medal and added it to my collection. Because I can. I run because I can.

There is a peace to be found pushing against pain, thirst and an ongoing mental conversation with yourself about “why the heck am I running 26.2 miles?”

The answer is: Because I can.

– Alfred P. Doblin, Tom Fleming: a champion I would have liked to meet. Read the full article.

I was saddened to learn last week of the death of Tom Fleming. I had the good fortune of meeting Tom a couple times over the years. I remember being inspired by someone so passionate about and dedicated to the sport – and in awe of his accomplishments. Especially in a local guy. Tom was a New Jersey native who had won the New York City Marathon twice, was a runner up at Boston (twice) and winner of several other Marathons. While most of us will never be the kind of athlete Tom was (or subscribe to his 150 miles a week marathon training regime), we understand his love of running and competing, and why he loved coaching kids and introducing so many to the sport.

The New Jersey Half Marathon is only five days away. I didn’t keep up with the training enough for a time goal, but I did do enough training to be fit, and to finish. And that’s satisfying enough. While I said I wanted to ramp up to run a fast Half, my heart wasn’t really in it. So I changed my goal. I wanted to run races with my boyfriend, and check off a few “bucket list” races; do some sightseeing and train just to cover the distances. And maybe sign up for more races than seem reasonable.

The New York Times wrote about Tom Fleming, “In 1973, during his senior year in college, he competed in a track meet on a Saturday, then ran the Boston Marathon two days later, finishing second.” So maybe we are following Tom’s example when we sign up for more than one race on the same weekend. And maybe in his death, Tom is a reminder that we should seize the moment. Run whenever we can. As runners we are not invincible. And we are certainly not immortal. So show up to everything for which you are able to show up! Don’t take for granted the opportunities you have before you – right in this moment. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll bring home a medal.

A stark reminder of the fragility of life seen on my run. A tribute to 2016 graduate, Sam Berman. Ramsey High School. April 2017.

Transformations

March 30, 2017thecausecoach

Last day of March. We’re officially nine days into spring, although with snow piles still hanging around us here in northern New Jersey, it doesn’t quite look like spring just yet. The featured picture here was taken a year ago yesterday on my way to my first coaching class in New York City. When I shared the memory on FaceBook yesterday I commented that it looked “springier.” Perhaps. But maybe it’s all in the perspective from which we chose to view the day.

If not a coach, I’ve at least been on this coaching journey now for a year. What have I achieved? Well, at the very least, I put into practice the fundamentals of accomplishing a goal — what we have been discussing this month. I decided in January 2016 that I wanted to be a professional coach; to do that, I wanted to be certified. I set a plan in motion from there. I took the needed classes; I completed the 25-week certification program; now I am completing the required coaching hours. But there’s so much more.

This journey has also been one of self-discovery. The core courses offered by the Coaches Training Institute (CTI) took participants through a process of self-awareness not unlike the process through which coaches are to guide their clients. We learned about the things – our values – that were most important to us. And how to use that knowledge to guide the choices we make. We learned about those negative voices in our heads – Our Saboteur – and how to shut it down. We also learned how to call on a team of positive voices – cheerleaders, our “crew” – that can remind us of our most positive attributes which we can draw on to accomplish our goals and override the Saboteur. We explored our life’s purpose. What am I meant to be? What do I want? What does an extraordinary life look like to me? All of this helped me define who I wanted to be as coach. I also got some great coaching from my instructors, fellow coaches-in-training, and my mentor coach which has gotten me to the point I’m at now. A better coach. A better mom. A happier, more fulfilled human being.

The ultimate transformation for me, however, has been in the relationships I have created with my clients. And what standouts our here is “diversity.” In the beginning I begged someone to be a “practice client” and didn’t charge for my services. My confidence grew and I started to charge and expanded my client base, although still not far beyond my immediate network. It has only been recently that I have, through referrals and business networks, began working with people not previously known to me. These are people with experiences – professional, economic, religious, ethnic, geographic – that are much different than my own. And while our coaching relationship is evoking a transformation in their lives, I am learning – and transforming – too.

The basis of the coaching relationship is the belief that we are all naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. To honor that belief, is to honor an understanding that while we are all very different, there is nothing negative in those differences. Embracing my clients’ creativity, resourcefulness and wholeness, I can’t help but celebrate who they really are, and want for them to be nothing less than their authentic, true selves.

I grew up in a wealthy, suburban town, where “diversity” was defined by the differences between the Irish and Italians. We were all Christian and we were all while. My perspective was one of privilege. It wasn’t until I branched out – a private high school in another county, college in an economically disadvantaged neighborhood in Philadelphia, a career working for social service agencies – did I begin to open myself up to other perspectives. Changing perspectives is at the heart of transformation – changing how we view ourselves and others allows us to grow and evolve. When we do that, it becomes easier to see the day as “springy.”

Spring on 34th Street. New York City. March 2016.

Excuses

March 27, 2017March 27, 2017thecausecoach

Ir’s the last week of March. I’m about a week behind my goal of weekly blog posts. When I published Friday’s I was surprised to see my previous post had been 15 days earlier. I lost an entire week! And here I was talking about goal setting and planning this month, and obviously not quiet getting there myself. Life gets busy of course and there are some very legitimate reasons why we don’t get done what we set out to do. That’s why I will dedicate an entire post in the next month to allowing for some flexibility in your training plan.

If you remember our R.A.C.E mnemonic acronym (Realistic, Action, Commitment, Evaluation) from last week, you know it’s time for me to evaluate my progress. What was getting in the way? In looking at how I was spending my time, I realized there were other activities that were taking up my time — yet were still part of the journey toward my big goal of establishing my coaching business. I was putting time into new clients and I was spending some time in developing presentations that I can give on life transitions and running to local organizations (Chambers, Rotaries, Women’s Clubs, etc). That’s all okay and was part of the time I dedicate each week to my business. So what else?

I spent several days cleaning my office. Really cleaning it! Going through files and purging every piece of paper that no longer pertained to my career; stuff I had been holding on to for literally 20 years. Gone! It felt good. And now that I think about it, there’s probably a blog post in there somewhere. So all good, right? And that was a big time sucker! Time well spent, because now I can face my new career in an organized, clutter-free office. I will also probably get back a lot of the time I spent on the project when I won’t be required to spend a crazy amount of time looking for stuff. So good. Still an activity that gets me to my ultimate goal.

Then there are other activities that are important to me, that don’t quite support my business goals and personal vision, but honor my values and are important to me. First, I serve as the volunteer race director for my running club’s event, a 4 x 2-mile relay. That event was yesterday and it was a great success. In the weeks leading up to race day, I have a lot of lose ends to take care from ordering medals and portable toilets, to tracking registrations, securing refreshment donations, and managing the relationship with the park’s department. Plus I report to the club’s board regularly and run the show on the day of the event. I have to be super-organized so nothing falls through the cracks. I make lists of lists. Cross my Ts, dot my Is. Sometimes just thinking about an event like this in the days leading up to it can be enormously distracting. But it’s work I enjoy. It’s the one piece of my fundraising/special event management career that I hold onto. It doesn’t support where I want to be professionally, but it supports my running club’s activities, and I get a lot of personal satisfaction from that. So again. Time well spend. And a conscious choice to spend my time doing that and not writing my blog.

I’ve also gotten involved in an issue in my town that could effect property values. I feel I’ve sat on the sidelines too long, so I volunteered to chair the “outreach committee.” The fight on this issue supports my values and my need to feel like I’m doing something to affect change. I am making a conscious choice to spend time on this. A big chuck of my time is also taken up by my role as Mom. Maybe I should have led with that since it’s my number one priority and a big factor in all the other choices I make. I do try to get all of my other personal and professional tasks done during school hours so the time when she might be around is flexible.

So up to this point, I have made what appears to be a lot of valid excuses to why I’m not getting everything done. Add to all of that keeping up with my training schedule and I could easily say, “I don’t have enough time.” But we all have the same 24 hours in every day and many use that time much more productively and seem to achieve so much more. What makes the difference?

Sure, some of it is in the planning and the choices we make; deciding to spend time on things that make us happy, but don’t lead to our big goals. When we start saying things like, “I don’t have enough time” however, we’re listening to our saboteur, our gremlin, “the dark side” or as author, Seth Godin, calls it in his book Linchpin, “The Resistance.” It’s that voice inside your head that makes excuses for you. I’m too old. I’m too young. I’m too fat. I’m too slow. I don’t have enough time. I don’t have enough money. I don’t have enough talent. I can’t do that! Saboteurs are the biggest challenge facing my clients. They come out of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of emotions. Sometimes they are hard to see because they hide well behind what appears to be legitimate excuses. It often appears like we don’t have time to get it all done. But do we really? As we hear ourselves making excuses, we need to pay close attention, shut down those voices and question our authentic selves. What do you really want? What is really getting in the way? The answers help us clarify our priorities and uncover what we fear. We need to acknowledge our fears and the challenges we are having in order to move forward.

The static from the radio is the things we do on a daily basis that moves us no closer to our goal than yesterday. It is the unproductive habits. The sleeping in late, the habitual scrolling through social media, the watching too much television, the procrastination of what can be done today and telling ourselves “I’ll do that tomorrow.” – From The Seeds4Life. Read more here.

Me? No excuses. I will admit to spending too much time on Facebook, and too much time analyzing my NCAA Tournament brackets in the last couple weeks. I’m not going to waste time analyzing why at the moment. At my best, I know I am disciplined and focused. I learned a technique from another coach that helps us make a habit out of being our best. At my best, I am (fill in the blank; I will (do one thing each day supporting that). So if I wanted to get back to a better fitness routine, that might look like, “I am an athlete; I will do 30 minutes of some sort of exercise each day.” My effort to get back to my regular blogging routine, might be “I am committed; I will write down one idea each day for a blog post.” And maybe, just maybe, I will have one more thing to write about before this month is over.

The De Novo Harriers 4×2 Relay Course. Saddle River County Park, Rochelle Park, New Jersey. March 2017.