giving rise to action; staying fit and sane through running
(31 Weeks)
Monday, October 6th, began like any normal day – or as normal as our days had become that year. 2014. It was a roller coast of emotions. I had been diagnosed with breast cancer in March. Ran a sub-4-hour marathon in April. Had surgery in May. Our daughter graduated from 8th grade in June. By July, I was out of work, starting radiation treatment, and our lives were spiraling downward.
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A coach I was working with once told me that a fast 5k during your marathon taper was a good distraction and a confidence builder. So, with the New York City Marathon 8 days out, I toed the start line at the Carrera de los Muertos 5k in Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood last Saturday.
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“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” – Anne Lamott
Have you ever looked so particularly sad that someone would suggest that “you look like you lost your best friend.” So a deep sadness is defined by what you would feel if you lost your best friend? What if you have?
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Rules always apply. For everyone. I’m a “rules follower.” I always follow the rules. Doing the right thing is something that was ingrained in me in childhood. I hate getting scolded. There are times though that the choices we have to make aren’t so black and white and put our values in direct conflict with the rules.
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This post is meant as a complement to what I wrote in August about ways to survive and thrive after the loss of a spouse. Holidays obviously can be difficult for anyone dealing with loss. Admittedly, even this year, my fourth holiday season since my husband died, I’ve really only mastered “surviving.”
Last Thanksgiving I hosted “Friendsgiving” (read about it here). That alienated my daughter. Not knowing all of the invited guest very well, she opted to spend the holiday with her friend’s family. So that didn’t feel right either. This year I asked her what she wanted to do. She asked that we cook a meal together (anything but Turkey) and put up the Christmas decorations.
What have I learned about at least surviving the holidays? Read more