(7 Weeks)
Aside from the M.B.S. girls, I was never one for big friend groups. I always had that one special friend in each situation. The friendship I maintained from high school is with Geralyn. Before I moved, we would get together for coffee fairly frequently, and we still exchange texts on holidays and our birthdays – a day apart. I met her on the school bus, and she was a Yankees fan.
Donna was my college roommate for almost all four years. We were both only children and I think that may have been why we made good roommates. We understood when we needed to be left alone and when we needed company. She settled in the Seattle area. She and I and our daughters had a nice time a couple years ago when we were visiting.
After finishing school, new adult friendships are often formed through work relationships. My first full-time job was with Suburban Newspapers of Northern New Jersey where I had worked part-time through college. That’s where I met Martha.
Martha and I had never spent any time together outside of work when she asked if I could pick up her daughter at her daycare one afternoon just before Christmas. Her position was keeping her there, while I had the day off. I was 23 and surprised she trusted me, when I, myself, wasn’t sure I would have trusted me. Her daughter was alive when she came to pick her up at my apartment later that day and thus began a lifelong friendship.
I became a welcome guest for dinner at Martha’s where she taught me how to make budget-conscious tasty meals, that allowed me to expand my home cooking beyond mac and cheese. Lack of disposable income never kept us down. We would scrounge together enough money for the baby sitter when we wanted to go out.
Martha is a bit older than me, but she was always up for some fun. She became my sidekick for my Friday nights at Nobody’s Inn dancing to our favorite band. On Sunday afternoons in the summer, we would sometimes pretend to be house hunting so we could visit million-dollar homes having open houses.
We shared a love of the beach and did many day trips to Point Pleasant Beach and for a few years we spent family summer vacations – the four of us! – on Long Beach Island. Her kids are all grown up now, with kids of their own, but we relived the old days a few years ago in Wildwood.
Martha was usually up for inclusion in my St Paddy’s Day celebrations, which over the years included incredibly fun times at the Montauk parade. Martha and her kids were included when I hosted Christmas. Martha was the maid of honor at my first wedding. After Chris died and she was between houses she lived with me for a couple months.
It’s Martha’s couch in sleep on when I’m back east and don’t feel like springing for a hotel. Martha has always been my friend with wisdom. A bit of a spiritual advisor. She has most definitely lived before. In additional to all the crazy fun times, Martha taught me about manifesting what I want in life, about the importance of daily exercise (long before I was a runner), and how to navigate the challenges of parenthood. It was her hand on my shoulder at Chris’ funeral that let me know I was going to survive.
I have learned from experience that we are never too old to make friends. Beyond work, there are clubs and hobbies, and other special interests that bring us together. Female friendships become even more important as we age. I honor all these women – and my new friends in Chicago as well (shout out to you, Claudia, Liza and Valerie!) for the impact each and every one of them has had on my life for as long as I can remember.
Please help me support Mercy Home for Boys & Girls with my 60th Birthday Fundraiser. I will be running the United Airlines NYC Half on March 16th. This will be Half Marathon #54. My goal is to reach Half Marathon #60 before the end of the year. Please help me stay motivated, and make sure the children of Mercy Home are provided the care they need. To learn more about Mercy Home and my why, please visit my fundraising page. Thank you.
