events

Mental Health and Supporting the President-Elect

Mental Health and Supporting the President-Elect

thecausecoach

NOTE: This is addressing Hillary Clinton supporters who are feeling really stressed out right now – maybe even depressed. If you voted for someone else or simply don’t care about the results of the election or think we can just “move on”, please stop reading right here. And if you don’t, please refrain from making some insensitive comment about us being sore losers, or the protests against the president-elect being “the result of giving every child a trophy.” If you choose not to follow this blog any longer, so be it. I’ve completely lost respect for you anyway.

I’ve addressed mental health in this blog numerous times. We need to again. According to data released by the American Psychological Association in October, 52 percent of Americans say the election was a significant source of stress in their lives.  Actor Robert De Niro compared his post-election mood to feeling like he did after 9-11.  The number of articles published about the subject of stress, anxiety and depression surrounding this election – dating as far back as March – are astounding (see additional links for a sampling of those at the bottom of this post).

“But 2016 is something else. Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican nominee for president, aspires to implement policies far more extreme than the ordinary candidate’s. He talks of launching a trade war with China, deporting millions of immigrants, and enacting a total ban on Muslim immigration. Either through sky-high prices or constrained religious rights, his plans would dramatically alter the lives of far more Americans—in a far more sweeping way—than the proposals of Clinton, Obama, Romney, or McCain.”

How to Preserve Your Mental Health Despite the 2016 Election  – Robinson Meyer, THE ATLANTIC, May 24, 2016. Read the full article here.

 

I let my daughter stay home from school the day after the election. She said she didn’t want to face the kids who supported (that other candidate). Yes, I allowed her to stay home. I made the most appropriate decision for my child. At the extreme, I didn’t want her to have a fight at school. But mostly, I didn’t want to force a kid already dealing with normal teenage anxiety, and some of the other stressors associated with everything we’ve been through, to take on anymore.

“Even before the votes were counted on Tuesday night, phone calls were pouring into suicide hotlines across the US in record numbers. Americans, including those in the LGBTQ community, were looking for help coping with feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, and a sense of betrayal.”

Suicide hotlines receive record number of calls after the election – Rachel Becker, THE VERGE, Nov 11, 2016. Read the full article here.

I left work early that day. Even my boss admitted it was hard to focus. My daughter told me about a protest in New York City and asked if we could go. At first I said it was pointless. But as I typed out my reply to her text…you protest policies that need to change or in support of something that will make for the kind of world you want live in…I realized that’s exactly why we needed to go. We needed to voice our concern and show the president-elect that we would not tolerate what we heard and saw from his campaign. This wasn’t about being a sore-loser. I learned how to handle losing in elections and in sporting events 40 years ago.

“This isn’t about party or losing an election. I had respect for George W Bush even though I disagreed with him, and he never scared me as a person. His actions scared me for our planet at times, but never was I vomiting out of personal fear of him. I can’t think of another politician who has evoked such an immediate, visceral reaction so consistently.

“It’s about kicking women in the guts, electing a man we know is a dangerous, unstable predator. This is a man who has nothing but contempt for human life.”

American Women Are Suffering from Trump Traumatic Stress Disorder – Sarah Jones, POLITICUS, Nov 10, 2016. Read the full article here.

We met up with a group at Columbus Circle at the south-west corner of Central Park. There were signs and chants and music. It felt good to be part of something bigger than ourselves. We then began to march down Broadway. We chanted. Donald Trump has got to go; Racist, Sexist, Anti-Gay. We were a parade and the spectators cheered. What does democracy look like? This is what democracy looks like! The police support was amazing. They stopped traffic, closed streets and saw to it that we were safe. Black Lives Matter. A guy next to me expressed hope that the police would be this supportive when the new administration encouraged the increased use of “stop and frisk.” My Body! My Choice! I walked in solidarity with my daughter. For the first time in all her teenage years she wasn’t embarrassed by me. She chanted louder. Not my president! Restaurant workers came out onto the streets to cheer. We got high fives from cab drivers. Our fellow New Yorkers. And I realized that is why we were there. We needed them to know we had their back. There were plenty of Americans that cared about the rights of others.

“Republicans contribute significantly to the breaking of the system, and then they thunder to the country that the system is broken. They refuse to govern, and then they denounce government. They seem to confuse governing with having their way. And more to the point, how does this vast alienation from Washington excuse this vast contempt for whole groups and races and genders?”

Stay angry. That’s the only way to uphold principles in Trump’s America. – Leon Wieseltier THE WASHINGTON POST, Nov 11, 2017. Read the full article here.

It felt good. I was glad we went. Even when I got home and saw the FaceBook posts – a friend who was inconvenienced by the gridlock in the city; others who simply thought of protesters as sore losers. My daughter said she felt better – and that she realized it was so much healthier to shout for the sake of shouting than shouting at someone! – an important lesson in anger management.

We did something. Doing something – being something – helps. It helps change perspectives. It helps keep you focused on what’s important to you.

“Continue to take actions that are in line with your values,” says Keenan-Miller. She advises those who are feeling helpless to focus on a couple of issues they’re passionate about. “Ask yourself, can you be a better advocate to that community in your daily actions?” Think about how much you’re doing in your everyday life to promote things you care about. “Can you turn up the volume on that?” she says. Clark agrees: “Turn your anger and fear into productive action.”

5 Ways to Recover From the Post-Election Blues – Elizabeth Varnell, VOGUE, Nov 9, 2016. Read the full article here.

As a coach I talk to my clients about their values and how they can live the most fulfilling life possible by honoring those values. Young people voted overwhelming against what they heard from the Republican candidate, and now they’re angry; not because we gave them trophies, but because we taught them that bigotry and hate are wrong. We taught them about inclusiveness, and to not tolerate bullies. And in this election, we let them down. They feel their values have been trampled.

I see it in my coaching clients, they feel stress when their values and ideology are crushed. This is what we are feeling. At first we needed to mourn the loss, but with the transition and cabinet nominations, we continue to feel our values being torn to shreds…even if we don’t personally fear losing our rights.

We need to continue to honor our values. We can no longer sit on the sidelines. We have to make donations, protest, sign petitions, call our representatives, and stand up when we see discrimination. And while we’re doing all that, we also need to practice self-care. We need to run and meditate and see our therapist or work with a coach; get a massage and enjoy a walk in the woods or along the beach.

What we can’t do is stop caring. So, no, I’m not going to accept the new administration. I am not going to “join together” in support of him. Doing so wouldn’t honor my values and would be way more stressful. I am going to stand and fight. And I’m going to continue to be an advocate for mental health and Stigma Free. We have come a long way in so many areas – including mental heath – and we can’t go backwards.

More Articles on the Election and Mental Health:

Stressed Out By This Crazy Election? Here’s What To Do About It – Lindsay Holmes, THE HUFFINGTON POST, March 4, 2016

Fear, Anxiety, and Depression in the Age of Trump – Michelle Goldberg, SLATE, September 23, 2016

Here’s How To Manage Your Overwhelming Election Stress – Lindsay Holmes, THE HUFFINGTON POST, Oct. 13, 2016

Talking to Your Therapist About Election Anxiety – Lesley Aldermanoct, NEW YORK TIMES, Oct. 20, 2016

What Women Are Telling their Therapists About Election Stress – Alexandra Sifferlin TIME, Nov. 1, 2016

Election anxiety is real. Many Americans report “significant stress” due to 2016 – Brian Resnick, VOX Nov 7, 2016

Post-Election Depression: How to Cope – Charlotte Libov, NEWSMAX, Nov 9, 2016

Election got you feeling down? Good news: It isn’t just you – Maimuna Majumder, WIRED, Nov 11, 2016.

img_5362Collection created by pinning on a race bib at close to 250 road races in the last 20+ years.

A Request

A Request

thecausecoach

I have procrastinated writing this blog in what was a busy and emotional week. On Sunday I volunteered at the New York City Marathon with members of my running club. Tuesday I voted. Wednesday I protested (more on that in my next post and please read that before expressing an opinion on why you think anyone should or shouldn’t be protesting). Last night I went to a fundraising gala in honor of the 50th Anniversary of the Volunteer Center of Bergen County. Which brings me to today. Veterans Day. So rather than reflecting on the results of the presidential election, the theme that has emerged is SERVICE.

“We can find meaning and reward by serving some higher purpose than ourselves, a shining purpose, the illumination of a Thousand Points of Light…We all have something to give.”

–  President George H. W. Bush, 1989 inaugural address

Giving of ourselves. Making an effort to help others. Advocating – and voting – for the world in which we want to live makes the world a better place and enriches our lives tremendously. My father served in the Army Air Corps during World War II. My late husband served in the Navy during the Beirut Conflict. Some form of service – to our county and to our community – is a necessary aspect of our lives as Americans. Not everyone does it. But everyone should.

People rely on others to be the active community investors. And thankfully there will always be those busy people who are willing to take on one more job, serve on one more non-profit board, coach one more team, and knock on one more door. But each and every one of us has a responsibility to be involved. We all have to stop assuming someone else will do it.

So here is my request…honor a veteran today by signing up to volunteer. And make a commitment to volunteering next week and next month and next year. Find a non-profit organization whose mission is meaningful to you; find a community organization that makes things better for your neighbors in need; run for public office; look to see what’s missing or needs to be fixed and be the answer. Stop waiting for someone else. And stop complaining about the results of other people’s volunteer service if you’re not serving yourself.

img_5323Sunrise on the Mile 21 Water Stop in Harlem. New York City Marathon. November 2016.

Races to Run – Summer 2016

Races to Run – Summer 2016

thecausecoach

Last weekend I worked a 5k run for Tomorrow’s Children’s Fund of Hackensack University Medical Center. In the interest of full disclosure, I’m a paid employee hired by the race director, not a volunteer. But it is ultimately the expertise of paid staff that allows non profits to best utilize volunteers and create a professional event that participants come back to year after year. There are of course a lot of events that do not have paid staff, but in my opinion as a participant, the better organized events have some paid staff, at the very least a professional race director. Paid staff do a lot of these events. We know how to set-up and manage the flow of everything from registration to the finish line and awards ceremony. We train and lead volunteers so the event can run efficiently. When I organized my first charity 5k back in 1998 I had already participated in a number of road races, but really knew nothing about what happened behind the scenes. I hired a race director. And that event is still going strong. The 19th Annual Teterboro 5k is taking place in just two weeks. I will be there – as a participant. Below is the second installment of my quarterly list of road races for charity. This time I have included the cause on the list, so you don’t have to click through to find a charity you wish to support. Since its summer I included some races at the shore, too. This is by no means a compressive list. For moe information on races in your area go to USA Track and Field’s events calendar.

July 2016
7/03 Harbor Hustle, 5k Stone Harbor, for the benefit of Alex’s Lemonade Stand for Childhood Cancer
7/04 Glen Rock Tribute Run, 5k Glen Rock, for the benefit of GRACE (Glen Rock Assistance Council & Endowment
7/10 Stone Harbor Fitness Challenge, 5k Stone Harbor, for the benefit of Alex’s Lemonade Stand for Childhood Cancer
7/16 Teterboro Airport 5k, Moonachie, for the benefit of Bergen County’s United Way
7/16 Boomer’s Cystic Fibrosis Run to Breath, 4 miles Central Park, for the benefit of the Boomer Espason Foundation
7/27 Downtown Westfield 5k, Westfield, benefitting Downtown Westfield Corporation
7/31 Al Mackler Cancer Foundation Race, 5k Atlantic City Boardwalk, for the benefit of the Mackler Cancer Foundation
August 2016
8/04 Toys for Tots 5k Run, Colonia, for the benefit of Central Jersey Toys for Tots
8/07 Flat Rock Brook 5k Run in the Wild, Englewood, for the benefit of Flat Rock Brook Nature Center
8/14 Stone Harbor Surf and Turf 5-miler, Stone Harbor, for the benefit of Alex’s Lemonade Stand for Childhood Cancer
8/20 Chickie’s and Pete’s Boardwalk Run, Atlantic City Boardwalk, for the benefit of Archway Schools
8/20 CASA Superhero 4 Miler, Garret Mountain Reservation, Woodland Park, for the benefit of Court Appointed Special Advocates
8/21 Midland Avenue Road Mile, Montclair, for the benefit of the Montclair Public Library
September 2016
9/03 5k Run/Walk for Warmth, Bloomfield, for the benefit of Spread the Purple
9/10 The 4 Miler at Garret Mountain, Woodland Park for the benefit of St. Joseph’s Children’s Hospital
9/24 Haworth 5k Run/Walk, Haworth for the benefit of Haworth Road Runners Association donations to local non-profits
9/25 Steeple Chase Distance Run, 5k & 10k Hillsborough for the benefit of Steeple Chase Cancer Center of Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital

Looking ahead to October, AliveAndKickn (who I introduced you to in March) is officially gearing up for the Get Your Rear in Gear 5k race in NYC on Sunday, October 23rd.  For more information or to run for and/or donate to Team AliveAndKickn, please go here.

Paid event staff are the first to arrive and watch the sun rise on the event.

IMG_4270Overpack County Park, Ridgefield Park, NJ June 2016

 

Cause-Running Review: Run for Our Sons

Cause-Running Review: Run for Our Sons

thecausecoach

I have run marathons and half marathons for nine non-profit organizations collectively raising over $85,000. One of those organizations was Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy (PPMD). While working with them a few years ago, I became familiar with and joined their Run for Our Sons program that raises money to support their mission to end Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy is the most common fatal genetic disorder diagnosed in childhood, affecting approximately 1 in every 3,500 live male births (about 20,000 new cases each year worldwide). Because the Duchenne gene is found on the X-chromosome, it primarily affects boys; however, it occurs across all races and cultures.

I sat down recently with Nicole Herring, PPMD’s Endurance Program Manager, to catch up with Run for Our Sons. It’s now in it’s 12th year! Like other “cause-running” programs, it began when a couple of parents with affected children, who happened to be runners, organized a group to run the Disney World Marathon. 86 people ran and raised over $186,000. The program has since grown to about 600 participants,15 events, and raises just shy of $1 million annually. This covers about 15% of the organization’s annual operating budget.

Run for Our Sons participants receive guaranteed entry, paid entry fee, technical team shirt, a fundraising web page, fundraising support and access to staff. There are also monthly training tips offered through a parent blog and a team pasta dinner the night before the event for the participant and a guest.

Nicole said that 95% of their runners have a connection to Duchenne – family members and friends. “Diagnosis brings ‘hopelessness’ and this is a way to do something – sign up and run – it becomes a way to feel good and do something positive,” explained Nicole. There is a very moving video on their web site where participants offer reasons for “Why I run.” 

Houston Marathon Weekend (5k, Half, Marathon), January 2013

Run for Our Sons is currently recruiting for The Shamrock Shuffle 5K in Rockford, IL (Mar. 20), The Bank of America Shamrock Shuffle 8K in Chicago (Apr. 3), and the Inaugural Walt Disney World Star Wars Races (5K, 10K, Half; April 15-17). Registration for the Star Wars races is now only available through travel providers and charity partners like PPMD. Fundraising commitments vary by races. For more details, please visit the Run for Our Sons web site.

In addition to half marathons and marathons, PPMD encourages supporters all over the country to host their own fun runs, 5Ks and 10Ks to raise money for Run for Ours Sons and in doing so, awareness for PPMD. Their website, RunForOurSons.org, makes it easy for not only runners, but non-runners (which they call “spirit” runners), to get involved at whatever level they feel comfortable.

The take-away for non-profits is that this is a great way to raise funds and awareness for your organization. Programs like Run for Our Sons have relatively low overhead. That being said, they do take an investment and require staff time. While Nicole coordinates all the details for each race, a number of additional staff and volunteers provide support leading up to each event and help organize the groups on race day.

Run for Our Sons is a real grass-roots effort with a lot of heart. The families I met in the short time I was involved touched my soul. This is a small organization achieving a magnitude of success toward finding a cure for Duchenne. To my running friends: if you are looking for a way into the Disney Star Wars Races, please consider fundraising for Run for Our Sons. The Half Marathon requires only a $1200 fundraising commitment and you will find yourself part of a very special team.

 

 

Don’t just run the event; volunteer!

Don’t just run the event; volunteer!

thecausecoach

Do you volunteer? I suspect that most of you do. Perhaps with your child’s school or recreational activity; perhaps you give time to a cause whose mission touches your soul. If you have been employed by a non-profit like I have, you probably have given a significant amount of time to your employer. Regardless of how you invest your time in your community, I’m sure we can all agree that when we do, we get an enormous return on that investment.

The origins of my volunteer service date back to when I was a Brownie Girl Scout. Plus I went to Catholic School where “service” was part of the curriculum. My parents were also involved politically and I volunteered for more campaigns by the time I was 12 than most people do in a lifetime. Aside from learning about the virtues of giving of oneself to help others, I was also, without knowing it, planning for my career. I learned through many of these early experiences how to conduct a fundraising campaign and, most useful, how to run a successful event. I still volunteer and I still see my volunteer work as a way to learn and grow both personally and professionally.

Beyond being helpful to a meaningful cause, volunteerism can, and should, be done strategically. As special events director for Bergen County’s United Way in 1998, I was tasked with co-organizing a golf-outing; something with which I had absolutely no experience beyond occasionally watching the PGA on television. I had a friend who was organizing two golf outings, so I signed up to help him out as a volunteer. And of course it helped the organization holding the event as I filled a much-needed staffing void without adding an expense. Special event directors should always be looking for other events at which to give their time. What a great opportunity to learn some thing new…or maybe just a better way of doing something you already do.

Corporations have known for a long time that employee volunteerism helps build teams, creates camaraderie, and generally makes employees feel better about their employer. The same holds true for schools and clubs. My running club volunteered for the New York City Marathon last November. Aside from the amazing experience of being involved in such a huge, spectacular event, the collective volunteer time brought us closer together. If you’re a runner, you should be volunteering at races occasionally, too. It’s of course important to support the running community in this way, but it is also a way to learn about parts of the race you don’t see when you’re running the course. You begin to understand the experiences of race participants that run at a different pace than you.

My advice to anyone looking for a job, looking to switch gears in their career, or just looking to tackle a new project, is to volunteer. When you’re out of work, fill the time by doing something meaningful that helps broaden your skills. I interviewed a candidate for a job once and asked what he had been doing with his time in the six months since losing his last job. He response? “Catching up on Netflix.” Wrong answer and not what you should be doing.

Some places to start your search for volunteer opportunities:

IMG_2461New York City Marathon. Sun setting on Mile 21 Water Stop. November 2015.