(21 weeks)
The one tradition (if you can call it that) which was left out of my Holiday Traditions post last week, was December birthdays. Celebrating the December birthday of a significant other has been a tradition of sorts since 1988.
When I was a kid, I thought the most absolutely perfect birthday was June 25th – exactly 6 months to/from Christmas for the best possible even distribution of gifts! The worst had to be Christmas. Who’d want to share their special day with the Baby Jesus? Talk about being over-shadowed!
Chris’ birthday was the 28th – three days after Christmas. And I came to believe, the worse birthdays were the week between Christmas and New Years when most people are just trying to catch their collective breath after the craziness of the pre-holiday rush and preparing for the start of another year.
As the family story was told, a party was planned for young Chris’ birthday. Six? Seven? Eight? I’m not sure. But not even one of the invited guests showed because they all forgot about it. It still seemed to make him sad even as adult.
The first boy I dated shared that same birthday although we only lasted a summer, so I never witnessed how he perceived it or was treated by family. After that my boyfriends tended to be Tauruses, like me (what an explosive combination that is!). Then I moved on to Virgos which made sense since my bestie since the 5th grade was also a Virgo. The guy I was involved with just before my first husband brought me back to Capricorn. December 29th.
When I met Chris, I put his birthday incorrectly on the calendar as the 29th, when it was the 28th. That went on for a few years. “Why do you keep thinking my birthday is the 29th?” Yeah, that is odd. Not sure. The worse part of Chris’ birthday is I sometimes forgot – not completely like the guests at his childhood birthday – but it always seemed like an afterthought.
Being in retail ad sales at the beginning of our relationship, December was a busy time, added to the pressure of hosting Christmas for our joint families, and gift buying, etcetera, and then boom! I’d be sitting on the sofa on the 26th, looking forward to a week off from work and Crap! I didn’t get Chris a birthday gift yet! I always managed to get in under the wire, but felt like I could have done better in my gift selection. He was famous for returning whatever I got him. So much so that a couple years into our marriage, we just abandoned gift-giving all together. For all birthdays and holidays.
Which brings me to Kurt. Yes, another December birthday which we will celebrate later this week (at least not a Capricorn). While I’m sure Kurt has gotten his share of “combo gifts” in his life, I think having a birthday before Christmas isn’t all bad. In his family growing up he said his parents never put up he tree until after his birthday, giving his day the exclusive recognition it deserved.
As an adult, he can reap the benefits of all the holiday decor and liveliness. His family has a tradition of a dinner out, which I’ve been a part of for the last six years. Restaurants are all nicely decorated and it’s a pleasant break from the holiday hustle.
Sometimes Kurt even gets two birthday celebrations: the family dinner and a night out with just me. One year we went to dinner and the Joffrey’s Nutcracker. When I was still in New Jersey our celebrations involved travel and not always being together for the exact day. The first year I came to Chicago in December it snowed. When he came to New Jersey, it snowed. I took that as a sign.
I’ve learned that with the proper mindset – and the right person with whom to celebrate, December is an incredible time to celebrate a birthday. The whole world is ablaze in lights and calendars are filled with festivities. Sometimes it’s all wrapped with a little snow, too.
Did you really think this wasn’t going to include a fundraiser? It’s me. Of course it is! Over the course of these 60 weeks, I am hoping to raise $6000 for the children of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls (that’s just $100 a week!). To learn more about Mercy Home and my why, please visit my fundraising page. Thank you.
