Five Years

Today marks the fifth anniversary of my husband’s death. I’ve written a lot about suicide in this blog (use “search” to the right to bring up everything). I also wrote something about Chris, too (read “His Story” here).

You know how sometimes the first thing that comes to mind, is the most accurate and best account of a feeling or a memory?

This is what I wrote in the wee hours of the morning of October 8, 2014, about 36 hours after I discovered him and after reading the online obituary for the first time. It is also what I read to eulogize him two days later, and it is still what I feel is the most fitting words with which to remember him today.

Seeing your name here breaks my heart. No words could adequately express what I am feeling right now. For 22 years, 4 months and 3 days you were a daily part of my life. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, you were a part of my life…every single day. You have left me with the greatest and most special gift I have ever received in our precious daughter. I will cherish her for all of my days. More than anything I will miss your friendship and your company; the simple things that I perhaps took for granted. Yes, there were many good times. Thank you for your devotion. Rest in peace, Chris Connolly, my husband and my friend.

I will leave you with that. I’m heading out the door to run my 5k. The 5k that I told you about last week. I’m looking forward to seeing friends from Team Gilda and 3Run2 and Fleet Feet and Chicago Endurance Sports and CARA. I am looking forward to sharing the miles with my amazingly supportive boyfriend whose presence in my life has changed everything.

Tonight my daughter and I will have dinner together – just the two of us – to mark the occasion, cherish one another and remember the father, friend and husband we still miss today.