Five Years

Today marks the fifth anniversary of my husband’s death. I’ve written a lot about suicide in this blog (use “search” to the right to bring up everything). I also wrote something about Chris, too (read “His Story” here).

You know how sometimes the first thing that comes to mind, is the most accurate and best account of a feeling or a memory?

This is what I wrote in the wee hours of the morning of October 8, 2014, about 36 hours after I discovered him and after reading the online obituary for the first time. It is also what I read to eulogize him two days later, and it is still what I feel is the most fitting words with which to remember him today.

Seeing your name here breaks my heart. No words could adequately express what I am feeling right now. For 22 years, 4 months and 3 days you were a daily part of my life. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, you were a part of my life…every single day. You have left me with the greatest and most special gift I have ever received in our precious daughter. I will cherish her for all of my days. More than anything I will miss your friendship and your company; the simple things that I perhaps took for granted. Yes, there were many good times. Thank you for your devotion. Rest in peace, Chris Connolly, my husband and my friend.

I will leave you with that. I’m heading out the door to run my 5k. The 5k that I told you about last week. I’m looking forward to seeing friends from Team Gilda and 3Run2 and Fleet Feet and Chicago Endurance Sports and CARA. I am looking forward to sharing the miles with my amazingly supportive boyfriend whose presence in my life has changed everything.

Tonight my daughter and I will have dinner together – just the two of us – to mark the occasion, cherish one another and remember the father, friend and husband we still miss today.

Chris J. Connolly, December 28, 1964 – October 6, 2014

5 thoughts on “Five Years

    • October 6, 2019 at 11:53 am

      Thank you

  • October 6, 2019 at 9:07 am

    “Getting through what one will never get over” is part of everyday. You do this beautifully, generously, and purposefully as you boldly evolve while never diminishing your love of Chris. I’m designing a butterfly garden around the statue of St. Francis to remind myself of the opportunity to become a new version of me without forgetting the core.
    This will be a wonderful day for you and an exquisite time with your daughter. Joan

    • October 6, 2019 at 11:52 am

      Thank you Joan! And what a beautiful idea. Love to you!


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