This is what 60 looks like

Today I am 60.

I’m not sure how that happened. I guess it’s just a passage of time that I’ve barely seemed to notice…until I did.

Maybe it’s the heavy losses of the last two decades. The family and friends who have long since passed. The less-than-optimal career moves that took me off course. Investments gone bad. There are regrets of course. How can anyone who has lived and taken risks not had some?

But now, those moments I once seemed stuck in, all seem so fleeting. College courses, bad dates, home improvements, a baby in diapers, unemployment, marathon training. Yes, everything passes. From the joyful to the time-consuming and worrisome. We move through it. And one day, we’re looking back at the once mundane – and even painful – with longing. 

I look back at old pictures of me, images of I once regarded with distain. Now I think, I look much better in that dress than I remember. That short haircut did really compliment my face. I looked so young…

That’s the sad side of growing older. 

But there is a plus side. Life’s changes also bring a shift in perspective and priorities that begin to make life simpler, each day more rewarding, and make us more confident in our convictions, truer to ourselves. 

I have traded organized religion for personal spirituality; a career for a mission; developed a more flexible definition of family. All of which transcends external influences. I have long since stopped caring what other people think of me – especially people whose opinions don’t matter. I have become less rigid and have relaxed the traditional rules my parents passed down of who and how I should be at this age. 

I am not currently in the best shape of my life and realize I may never be again.  But I am still running half marathons (#55 a week and a half ago and a plan to get to #60 before the year is out) and I haven’t closed the door on another full (maybe next year). 

I am no longer in a C-level position, a peak earner, but get up every day in love with what I do, why I do it, and who I do it for. And the bills get paid. I’ve saved for retirement and have a vision for that, too. Although not too soon.  My dad, who retired at 62, told me at 82, that if he knew he was going to live so long, he wouldn’t have retired as early as he did.  

The more days I live, the more of the puzzle pieces I see coming together.  I have witnessed entire lifetimes through the two dogs I’ve guided from housebreaking to the rainbow bridge. I saw my daughter come into grow into this world, and witness my parents as they departed it. 

I still refer to myself as “middle-aged” which, unless anyone genuinely believes I can succeed at reaching 120, that shipped sailed a while back.  If I live as long as my (adoptive) parents, I have another 25 years. My biological mother celebrated her 90^th last fall. So maybe 30 years more. Personally, I’m shooting for 111 + 2 months so I can be around for America’s Tricentennial (assuming we make it through the semi-quincentennial next year).  Who knows what’s in cards for any of us next week, next month, next year…I’ve been aware of the time going by – The say, in the end, it’s the wink of an eye. (Jackson Browne).

Whether twenty-five or thirty, it doesn’t matter. I am finally at a point in life where I have stopped wishing away time, thinking things will be better when… I have stopped imagining life as it could be and have learned to just enjoy what each day brings. With all that I’ve become, I have no doubt that this will be the most fulfilling time of my life. I have been watching the younger generation at home and work, their insecurities, self-doubt, some excitement accompanied with anxieties about the unknown. At first maybe a little envious of the full life they have before them, I know I am happiest right where I am. I approach each day with the wisdom of experience, and a tremendous amount of gratitude for those experiences – all of them. 

I feel I succeeded at parenting, gotten a second chance at love and marriage and family, have a fulfilling vocation that is about helping others. I still get out for a run, and have hope for the future through the addition of a new puppy to our home. 

I quote my mother almost daily, and yet today, it’s my father’s words that ring most true.  Today is indeed the first day of the rest of my life.

Happy Birthday to me. 

---

Please help me support Mercy Home for Boys & Girls with my 60th Birthday Fundraiser.  So far this year, I ran the F^3 Half Marathon (January 25th, #53), the United Airlines NYC (March 16th, #54) and the Chicagoland Spring Half (May 4th, #55). Next up is the Chicago Spring Half on Sunday. My goal is to reach Half Marathon #60 before the end of the year. Please help me stay motivated, and make sure the children of Mercy Home are provided the care they need. To learn more about Mercy Home and my why, please visit my fundraising page. Thank you.