(17 Weeks)
Taylor Swift may have learned a lot before she turned thirty, but I believe many important life’s lessons came after that milestone. So here goes…thirty lessons learned in the 2nd 30!
(Since it got way longer than a typical blog post, I’ve cut it into three parts. This is the last 10, read the first here, and 2nd here)
21. All adults need life insurance
When my husband died, the insurance let me take time off to be there for our teenage daughter, pull myself together emotionally and re-invent myself by furthering my education and ultimately starting a new career – and relatively speaking, the policy wasn’t even that much money.
22. It is possible to manifest the life you want
There have been so many times I have been able to make my vision for the future a reality. Finding the right jobs, the environment in which I wanted to live, and the right relationships at the right time – all because I imagined it to be. Although that doesn’t mean I didn’t set myself up for success (“God helps those who help themselves” as my mom would often say) by taking classes or networking, but there always seemed to be some bit of “divine intervention” present. I’m still working on the lottery win.
23. It’s okay not to be okay.
Pain and sadness are part of life. There is nothing wrong with feeling these negative emotions as long as we can also feel happiness and joy.
24. Average days become our most cherish memories.
One of the saddest things about aging is looking back at simple times that seemed to have little meaning as they were happening. There are now so many of these average days that fill my thoughts to which I long to return.
25. Jury Duty doesn’t suck.
Jury Duty is thought by most to be something to avoid. A simple civic duty that relatively speaking doesn’t take that much of your time. I successfully avoided it several times (as a student, a volunteer first aider, 8-months pregnant, and a caregiver to my mom). I was finally called for Grand Jury – a once a week, two-month commitment! I wound up loving it! You hear so many fascinating cases and I learned a lot about our legal system.
26. Starting over is sometimes the only way forward.
Starting over can be scary as hell! Frustrating at times. Questioning. Missing. Fearing the unknown that lies directly in front of you. And yet with each step forward, each new day gets sunnier and you begin to realize forward is the only way to go. Whether your managing grief, deciding to leave a job, or recovering from an injury, it can be difficult to pick up where you left off and you best path is starting from scratch.
27. We are stronger and more courageous than we ever give ourselves credit for.
If you asked 30-year-old me about running a marathon, birthing a baby, being fired a job, losing my parents, being a CEO, being diagnosed with cancer, facing my husband’s suicide, being a single parent of a teenager, or moving halfway across the country, I’d think that was way more than one person could deal with in 25-years and wow, my life is going to suck, and yet here I am and I look back on all of that as a time of growth.
28. You can still make friends after 30…and 40 and 50…
When we leave school, we face our first “friend crisis” but work usually picks up where school left off. I am still in touch with many of the people I worked with at my first jobs, but at the time we were all single, 20-somethings. When I got married, maintaining friends outside of the marriage was more difficult. And Chris and I rarely could make friends with other couples we both liked. I recognized the need for female friends after having my daughter and connected with many of her classmates’ moms. I also joined a running club and made many friends with a common interest and regularly scheduled activities. After Chris died, I became more active in my community. I found it very easy to cultivate new friendships after moving to Chicago by getting involved in civic and professional groups and volunteering.
29. Your 50s are probably your best decade (so far)
OMG I love my 50s! I ran 3 marathons in 27 weeks after turning 50. Couldn’t do that when my daughter was small and also had less career flexibility! I’ve also learned so much about living life, that everything is a choice, we’re never stuck and now I’m exactly where I want to be.
Life can certainly suck from hormonal changes, less-than fulfilling jobs, friends that have let us down, failed relationships, being sandwiched between teens and elderly parents (although I dealt with most of that in my 40s)…ugh…when does it stop, right? But we are all here demonstrating that we survive every day. I wrote this a while back: “I have spent the last week making note every morning of a simple thing that I am looking forward to that day. Each evening, I journal about just the things that went right that day. Leaving off the “buts” I found was powerfully positive. We can be too hard on ourselves. We need to embrace everything right, without looking for where we didn’t measure up, where the accomplishment fell just slightly shy of grand expectations. We need to celebrate our best selves, the simplest accomplishments, and stop selling ourselves short.”
30. Sixty isn’t really *that* old
Right? If I’m wrong, at least getting “old” beats the alternative.
Did you really think this wasn’t going to include a fundraiser? It’s me. Of course it is! Over the course of these 60 weeks, I am hoping to raise $6000 for the children of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls (that’s just $100 a week!). To learn more about Mercy Home and my why, please visit my fundraising page. Thank you.
