Sixty Weeks to 60: Thirty Lessons (Part 1)

(29 Weeks)

Taylor Swift may have learned a lot before she turned thirty, but I believe many important life’s lessons came after that milestone. So here goes…thirty lessons learned in the 2^nd 30! 

(Since it got way longer than a typical blog post, I’ve cut it into three parts. This is the first 10)

1. Be curious. It’s the best way to keep yourself educated.

When I moved to Illinois six years ago, as I met new people, I found myself asking “what’s your story?” What they chose to reveal was very telling and often led to a great conversation. Since I was trained as a coach at age 51, I’ve gotten so much better at listening and curiosity than I was in my youth. Rather than forming an opinion immediately, rather than responding with my own perspective, I’ve gotten much better at asking questions to learn more or clarify what I’ve just heard. It’s been a game changer in personal and professional relationships. 

2. Putting yourself first, is different than being selfish.

Because of my parents’ fear of me becoming the stereotypical, spoiled only child, I think “don’t be selfish” almost became a mantra that pushed me to be too giving and made me feel guilty when I did put my own needs and wants ahead of those of others. This made for some difficulty in my relationships. Eventually, I realized that “putting your own oxygen mask on first” was the right thing to do, and “self-care” makes be a better mom, wife, friend, and employee. 

3. Adopting a healthy lifestyle, helps you achieve success in all areas of your life

As a runner, I’ve been able to maintain a healthy weight (even through menopause). In becoming a runner, I started making healthier food choices because I didn’t want to undermine my training. Now, I eat a predominantly plant-based whole foods diet. When I was diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago, I immediately eliminated dairy after reading an article about how it could be a contributing factor. In the 3 weeks between the original biopsy and MRI the tumor went from 1.8 cm to 1.6 with no treatment. After 4 weeks on my new “diet” I felt more focused.  I drink very little alcohol (especially in relationship to how much I drank in my 20s).  All these things contribute to being more mindful, having the stamina to do everything I need and want to do, and acing my physicals. As a cancer survivor, that gives me some peace of mind. Moving my body and being conscious of what I put in it, gives me the control I need to feel as a cancer survivor. 

4. Keep setting the bar higher. Always challenge yourself. 

Never stop having goals. Never stop learning. The truth is 20 years will pass whether you like it or not, so you might as well be able to look back when you get there and feel you are either 1. a better version of the person you are now; or 2. have some spectacular memories of all the things you wanted to do and did! OR 3. BOTH! We visit museums and are trying to see all the musical artists that we are now realizing won’t be around forever. I have stacks of books to read, lists of places I want to go, may even challenge myself to run every street in the town I live in now, and still plan to qualify for Boston!

5. Almost) everyone can, and should, run a marathon. It’s life changing. 

Speaking of challenges, running a marathon is a great one!  And most marathon runners will tell you crossing that first 26.2-mile finish line is game changing! For me, it gave me confidence; it made be wonder, “what else did I think was impossible.?” It turned me into a risk taker and set me on a new and improved direction for my life. 

6. It’s never too late to start.

We hear a lot about “thirty under thirty” lists; those young individuals with boundless energy and probably no spouse or children to monopolize their time and change their focus.  But the things many have accomplished – and only started – later in life, is what’s truly remarkable. I didn’t become a runner until age 31.  I changed careers becoming a fundraiser at about the same time. Then I became a running coach and a professional coach in my early 50s. I parlayed that into a new career that combined my experience, passion, and hobby. And running marathons are not just for young people. The oldest marathon finisher (age 104 at the time) didn’t even start running until he was in his 80s.

7. Getting paid to do something you love, makes for a satisfying career

I fell into my first career – sales – somewhat haphazardly and it wasn’t until I took a job as the special events director at United Way that I finally found myself enjoying my job. There were often days that I couldn’t believe I was getting paid to do what I loved! As a result, I excelled in the role and put my heart and soul into it.  While I strayed from this lesson too often, I again find myself doing something I absolutely love and having tremendous success as well. 

8. Having a bad boss will make even the best job suck

My United Way job and my current position and Mercy Home for Boys & Girls have one important thing in common – a great supervisor who understands what I need to do my job and gives me the space to do it. I’ve had some other jobs that should have been great jobs, but I had supervisors who micromanaged, were feared, and created horrible workplace environments. If I had to do it all over again, I’d run from those positions immediately rather than letting me suck the life out me.

9. It’s okay to burn the occasional bridge

One of the pieces of career advice my father gave me, was “never burn bridges” and I have done remarkable well at that. I am often commended for maintaining relationships with people who have wronged me. But honestly, whether in your career or personal life, you owe it to yourself to burn some bridges and get as far away from toxic people who don’t deserve your attention as you can. There are at least two former supervisors I refuse to connect with on LinkedIn. There are a couple former “friends” I have unfriended. Life is too short.

10. There are endless opportunities for us to reinvent ourselves

The desire to reinvent ourselves is not an “early midlife crisis” and completely natural as we age. To think 20-somethings can plan their entire lives is ludicrous. Many adults will transition careers several times between college and retirement. Older adults take up new hobbies and sports and other interest. 

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Did you really think this wasn’t going to include a fundraiser? It’s me. Of course it is! Over the course of these 60 weeks, I am hoping to raise $6000 for the children of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls (that’s just $100 a week!). To learn more about Mercy Home and my why, please visit my fundraising page. Thank you.