(35 Weeks)
Today, September 10th, is National Suicide Prevention Day. This is a day I wish I knew nothing about. This is a day I wish I didn’t care about, didn’t write about, didn’t feel the need to acknowledge. I wish no one did.
Nine years and almost 49 weeks ago, my family joined the statistics, and I began to understand why this day is necessary. I’ve written about it here no less than eleven times since then. Sometimes to commemorate this week, sometimes on the anniversary of Chris’ death, sometimes on a random day when my thoughts moved me to do so.
Our lives have gone on as I knew they would. My daughter and I share reminiscences of “Dad” – the man she has memories of for only about half her life now. These stories make us laugh or shake our heads. I am often left thinking how did I not know? But I’m not alone.
Nine years ago this week, when I posted an article on LinkedIn discussing my Chicago Marathon fundraiser for AFSP, I provided the current statistics. Rewritten with today’s statistics, it would say this:
Suicide is now the 11th leading cause of death in the United States (knocked out of the top 10 by COVID-19); more people still die of suicide than in car accidents. In 2022, the total number of suicide deaths in the United States was 49,476 (car accidents was 44,534). Historically, suicide rates rise during times of financial stress and economic setbacks (including a pandemic). In 2021 it was the 8th leading cause of death for males, and the 15th leading cause of death for females. Suicide is still the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24. In 2022, rates were highest for adults ages 85+ years (23.02 per 100,000) and next highest for those 75 to 84 years (20.26 per 100,000). Compared with rates in 2021, the suicide rates increased for those age 35 and older and decreased for those age 34 and below. Youth below age 25 have had consistently lower suicide rates than middle-aged and older adults. In 2022, adolescents and young adults aged 15 to 24 rates declined from 15.15 per 100,000 to a suicide rate of 13.62 per 100,000.
The bottom line is that we continue to have a huge suicide problem. More people are touch by suicide than we care to admit. We still don’t talk about it enough, although since 2014, perhaps we’re getting a little better at that. I think step one is acknowledging that there’s a problem and your family is not immune. Know the signs, look out for them in the ones you love, and do everything in your power to persuade them to get the critical help they need.
Since a large majority of suicides are by firearms, commonsense gun laws would also seem to help. According to CDC data (Johns Hopkins), Gun suicides continued to reach all-time highs, increasing 1.6% from a previous record in 2021; 26,993 people died by gun suicide in 2022. While the increase in gun homicides has gained public awareness, less attention has been paid to the growing epidemic of gun suicides – which historically make up the majority of gun deaths. The gun suicide rate has steadily increased, nearly uninterrupted, since 2006. In 2021 it reached the highest levels since the CDC began recording such data in 1968; and this past year, in 2022, it surpassed that record.
If you are someone who feels depressed, do what you can to help yourself. Don’t leave your family picking up the messy pieces, harboring guilt for all the what-ifs. Take care of yourself. Exercise. Meditate. Eat well. Foster friendships. Seek therapy. Don’t self-medicate. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, tell someone. If they don’t take you seriously, go to an emergency room or police station where you’ll find people who are trained – and paid – to take you seriously.
I do think at times, like terminal illness or the elderly in pain, suicide or assisted suicide is an appropriate and dignified choice individuals should be allowed to make for themselves. I don’t believe Chris (age 49 at the time) truly wanted to miss out on his daughter’s life and what other mysterious joys might have lied ahead. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t wish some things were different.
Did you really think this wasn’t going to include a fundraiser? It’s me. Of course it is! Over the course of these 60 weeks, I am hoping to raise $6000 for the children of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls (that’s just $100 a week!). To learn more about Mercy Home and my why, please visit my fundraising page. Thank you.
A tough topic to write about, no less be a witness to. I’ve been depressed, and thought about suicide but never went that far. Instead I bought a horse & she was my therapy for years. Robin Williams seemed like the happiest guy in the world, but we know better now. He was truly a master of disguise. Unless someone says something, none of us would ever know or see the signs because they don’t want anyone to know. It’s too shameful. So sad. (((HUGS))) Mary.