Finding happiness at the end of a long winter

Finding happiness at the end of a long winter

This week signaled the start of two 5k beginner groups and my longest training run since the NJ Marathon almost 2 years ago. And while I turned my focus to those priorities, I felt like I was neglecting others. I have been beating myself up a bit for not maintaining my standards.

I’m really going to try to stop doing that. I’m going to really try to not worry about things I cannot do anything about. I want to focus on what I can do. Be grateful for what I have.

Truth be told, happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.  (Chernoff, M. “8 Things to Remember When Everything Is Going Wrong” Marc & Angel Hack Life READ MORE…

Sometimes we get busy and we forget to take the time to be grateful for what we have. I was having one of those weeks. I am just so sick of winter. I’m sick of navigating the snow on my runs. I’m sick of the cumbersome layers. We’re in daylight saving time now. Shouldn’t there be warmth to go with that later sunset?

I’m annoyed that last week’s storm cost me $550 for a tree service that wasn’t in the budget. I’m annoyed that my garden is frozen. I want to put the patio furniture out. I’m sick of picking up after my teenager. I am so ready for all of us to move on to the next chapter.

I believe happiness is a long-term thing, not short spurts of emotion that we chase, but something that is born within and sustained naturally in our being. (Martino, J. “10 Simple things you can do today that will make you happier, backed by science” Collective Evolution READ MORE…

I am, by nature, a happy person. My parents didn’t call me “Little Mary Sunshine” for nothing. But I am also impatient. When I decide I want change, I want it to be immediate. I want to fix everything and I tend to get frustrated when progress is slow.  I have to remind myself to just breath. From experience, I know that everything has a way of falling into place as it was intended.

That’s not to say that we don’t have to act. “God helps those that help themselves,” is something my mom would often say. While there is nothing wrong with praying, even through 17 years of Catholic School I was taught that even the best prayers need be backed up with personal action. Focus on what you have control over and do it!

If you aren’t happy try exercise, companionship, a walk in the woods, volunteering, smiling, or meditation, as the article quoted above suggests. Practice gratitude. And if all else fails, it’s perfectly acceptable to just take a nap and wait for dinner.

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Saddle River County Park, Paramus, New Jersey. March 2018. www.HarriersRelay.com

This week in Marathon trainingScreen Shot 2018-03-16 at 11.57.29 PM

In running or life, a Coach can make the difference

In running or life, a Coach can make the difference

I’m going to ignore for the moment the snow outside and reflect on the fact that the official start to spring is just around the corner – 2 weeks! This is a good time to commit to something new! This week, twenty-two years ago, I started running.

Because it’s almost spring, I am again preparing to come out of hibernation in a big way. I start coaching my beginner 5k groups in the next week and the week after that my volunteer role coaching Let Me Run.  I will be telling everyone how I started like this – just one slow step at a time – how we all start like this. Read more

Let Me Reach Out!

Let Me Reach Out!

This is another one of those weeks where I struggled to figure out what I’m going to say here. I have lots of ideas of things that I want to write about, but some weeks none of my ideas seem appropriate. Like many parents, I am shaken by another school shooting. 29 mass shootings so far this year, the 18th at a school. I ran hard yesterday morning. Running relieves stress.

“Not just exercise, but a way to get in touch with and reclaim myself in an often fragmenting world, running also serves as a powerful antidote to clinical depression, a metaphor for the creative process, and, in its most profound moments, a spiritual practice.” – Poet Alison Townsend

Read more

Why you should run a Marathon

Why you should run a Marathon

You have the strength, the courage, the discipline and the power to bring your dreams to life, to be the change you want to see. You can make your dreams a reality.

To be the person you need to be to achieve your goals – you are going to first run a marathon. Yes, a marathon! YOU are going to finish a marathon. That’s 26.2 miles. I’m going to tell you that you CAN finish a marathon. I will tell you that you DO have enough time, and that you are not too out of shape, slow, old, or whatever excuse you have in your head. Because that voice in your head telling you that you can’t run a marathon, is the same voice that’s sabotaging you in other areas of your life. Read more

The benefits of simplicity

The benefits of simplicity

A couple weeks ago, I found myself spending a weekend in a hotel outside of Philadelphia. Why? Because my daughter was visiting a friend in college, didn’t want to drive herself, and I certainly wasn’t going to make the four-hour round trip twice in one weekend. Sure she could have taken public transportation…but yeah, that’s the kind of mother I am.

There was something in it for me, though. I had a bunch of paperwork and other laptop-based tasks to get caught up on and I saw this as an opportunity to focus without the distractions found at home. It was an efficiency room, residence-type hotel that could accommodate the dog for an extra $10 (a bargain considering the added expense of a kennel or dog sitter for two days). Plus I brought food and could prepare my own meals.

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A room with a view. Horsham, Pennsylvania. October, 2017 

So for two whole days I was self-contained and self-sufficient. Didn’t have to leave the room (except to walk him), which was a good thing because Enzo would not have been happy if left in the room alone and would surely have made enough noise to have us evicted. The weekend went as planned. I got my work done and also learned something. Simplicity feels good.

“Simplicity is the final achievement. After one has played a vast quantity of notes and more notes, it is simplicity that emerges as the crowning reward of art.”
— Frederic Chopin

Having everything I needed – and only what I needed – in one room was calming. It reminded me of being between houses when my daughter was a toddler. We lived for nine months at my mother-in-law’s home. While the situation was understandably stressful, it was balanced by the simplicity of having everything but necessities in storage and not having the responsibility of being the homeowner.

These are important lessons to draw on as I prepare my house for sale and my daughter and I for a move. A friend who did it last year advised me to spend the time I had in the year ahead to weed out the clutter so it didn’t become a huge job at the last minute. Good advice.

Not long after my parents became empty nesters, they sold my childhood home and began the process of downsizing. I remember finding them one day sorting through their belongings, which had been tucked away in the attic for decades. My father was tossing his WWII Army Air Corps uniform into a big Hefty bag. Horrified, I stopped him. “That would be like mom throwing out her wedding gown!” My mom looked up from her pile and said, “Threw it out two days ago!”

I didn’t understand at all how they could part with so many precious symbols of their lives that they had held on to all these years. I couldn’t understand it then. I understand it now. As I start to think about my own empty nest and moving to a smaller place, practicality takes over to a certain degree; but it’s something else too.

By middle age, we’ve experienced so much more and learned to value simplicity. We also have a lot more clarity about what is important, what is worth saving, and where it’s okay to let go. I have a plastic bin in the basement labeled “Sheehy”. It contains a few bits and pieces of what’s left of my parent’s lives that they, and ultimately, I, still regard as important. I guess that’s a good thing to remember. Our lives will inevitably become a box in someone’s basement or attic. So only hold on to what’s really important so it’s simple for someone to keep.

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” 
— Antoine de Saint Exupéry

I am following my friend’s advice. I’ve started weeding through the clutter and discarding a lot. Making donations. Contemplating another garage sale. I have china and glassware inherited after cleaning out my mother’s and my aunt’s homes, sentimental knick-knacks, and too much furniture. I think parting with meaningful things will be less of an issue than trying to consolidate the contents of a four-bedroom house into a two-bedroom apartment.

I went looking for help on the Internet and found some great ideas worth passing along…This is a great how-to: The Four Laws of Simplicity, and How to Apply Them to Life. And if you’re having trouble starting there, maybe read this first: 7-Steps to Inner Simplicity.

It has been my experience that simplifying my environment will calm the mind and move me closer to an inner peace. Less is more is a philosophy I have applied to my training as an aging runner. Keeping it simple assures my running continues to be a stress reliever, and does not add stress, both physically and mentally. The older I get, the more I realize how true this is for everything.

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Tyler State Park. Newtown, Pennsylvania. October, 2017.

And here’s an idea for runners looking to clean-out T-shirt drawers. I have run close to 270 races, which mean close to 270 race shirts. As soon as I get the shirt home I take a picture of it. Then I place it in one of three piles: Keeper (will be added to my wardrobe), Donation (nice shirt for someone else), Tosser (usually long sleeves and sweatshirts, that I wear at the start of a race in cool weather and toss at the start – usually collected by race organizers and donated too).  For now I’m keeping the pictures in a folder on my computer, but plan to make an album, matching them up with the bib numbers. Project for another day.