(27 Weeks)
Election Day 2020 – November 3 – was Enzo’s 10th Birthday. As a distraction from waiting to see where the day left us, I made an appointment for him at the groomer. It was a warmish day, and after I picked him up (curbside with a mask on since we were very much still in the thick of covid, pre-vaccines), we drove with the top down with nothing between us and the crystal blue sky. I was hopeful.
The thing about pets is that they are a constant.
It doesn’t matter what’s going on in your personal or professional life or the world around you, you will still have an obligation to your pet. And they can be a nice distraction.
On the morning I got the call that my mom had died, I said to the caller, “I’ll be right there.” But I knew I first had to take Enzo for his walk. It was not only an obligation, but good for my soul as well. Not exactly alone time, but quiet time.
The night Chris died, and the police were still on the scene, first-responder vehicles still filling my driveway, I had to take the dog out. They force some sense of normalcy in a very abnormal time.
Lost your job? Too bad. Take the dog out!
Diagnosed with cancer? That’s sucks. Feed the dog.
Pets can sense when you’re feeling down or stressed and are usually intuitively comforting, but they still need to relieve themselves, and they still need to be cleaned up after and fed and will still demand your attention. Having something besides ourselves to be responsible for – particularly someone who isn’t very independent – gives us a sense of purpose and keeps us grounded. Having a pet is important for our mental health.
And I would argue dogs more so than cats because they are not as self-reliant and as low maintenance as cats. Although I have been (re)learning how wonderful a cat be for a family too in the past year. I am grateful for Enzo’s surprising acceptance of Hudson the cat, that allowed us to welcome the feline into our home two years ago.
Enzo was a very big part of what carried me through some very difficult years. When I was working long days and came in through the backdoor, it was he who was waiting for me, tail wagging, excited I was home. My (first) spouse and pre-teen, not so much.
When we first got him, I took him to visit my aunt and mother at their assisted living. My Aunt Eileen, having raised several dogs from puppies, was consumed with worry that he was going to pee on something. My mother just verified that he was really ours and asked to hold him. I hadn’t seen her smile like that in a very long time.
Until Chris died, Enzo was really everyone’s dog. Playmate to our daughter. Companionship for Chris while the girl was at school, and I was working long days. I had the morning walk shift which was one of my favorite parts of the day before my morning run. Chris had the evening shift. Daughter learned to watch him and pick up after him in the yard. We were all in.
I assume he provided comfort to Chris much of that time too. When he took his own life, Enzo (just shy of 4 years) was the last one Chris took care of making sure he had his yard time and was fed.
After Chris died, I took on all his chores around the house, like taking out the trash, opening the kitchen blinds in the morning and closing them at night, cleaning up after dinner, clearing the snow in the driveway, barbecuing, and Enzo’s evening walk.
The evening walk was the first chore I took on… and the only chore of his that remained on my docket after I moved to Illinois. Maybe that’s why even after having said my final goodbye to Enzo in February, I’ve had trouble giving up our evening routine.
I circle the neighborhood, processing my thoughts, missing my companion, but remaining hopeful. Maybe we’ll get through today and the weeks ahead. Maybe in the spring we’ll open our home and hearts to a new canine family member. Maybe the cat and the dog will co-exist peacefully.
Did you really think this wasn’t going to include a fundraiser? It’s me. Of course it is! Over the course of these 60 weeks, I am hoping to raise $6000 for the children of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls (that’s just $100 a week!). To learn more about Mercy Home and my why, please visit my fundraising page. Thank you.
